Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
