you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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