I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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