she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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