Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
