You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
