those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
