fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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