Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
