His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
a search helicopter?!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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