I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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