my vag is so smooth its legendary
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
it's like heaven, but drunker
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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