i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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