just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
