At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
