I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
