singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
