He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He felt like a one man threesome
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
