he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
