People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
