Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
