There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize