Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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