Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
