She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
