If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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