.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
