you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
