Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
