yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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