How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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