I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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