Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
