Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
