you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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