I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
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as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
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Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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