At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
