my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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