What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
