This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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