I want to walk on stilts...naked
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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