i think my mom watched the whole time
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
