Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
