ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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