Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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