Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
