Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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