is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
How many fucks given?
0.12846
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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