My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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