I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
