my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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