The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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