Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
