I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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