This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize