I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
