She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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