Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
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I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
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You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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