My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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