I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
